Every Fic Ever Made
by The Lone Chocobo
Summary: This has something for everybody... and then stuff you didn't want.


It was a hot, steamy night. The students of Balamb Garden were all sleeping soundly except to lovers stealing a few precious moments in the training center...

"Squall," she said softly, "I just have to tell you something."

"What, I'd listen to anything you have to say," he kissed the top of her head gently; "I'd follow you to the ends of the world."

She laughed playfully, "I know you would, I just wanted to say..." Nerves were getting the better of her she wanted to do nothing more then run away, yet something kept her from doing just that. Him. He was her world.

"Squall I love you," she said it in one quick breath. "Let's go to Vegas and get hitched."

"Oh Quistis, your such a slut, you already have five husbands!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just because I choice you over that ditzy Rinoa doesn't mean I want to marry you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Quistis stood back, gasping for air. "Squall I thought you would follow me to the ends of the earth?"

Squall smiled, "Yeah, Irvine taught me that line. Actually, Irvine taught me a lot. We have been secret lovers and are going to Vegas to get hitched!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

QUISTIS JUST LAUGHED, " EVER SINCE YOU AND THE REALLY, REALLY DUMB DITZY STUPID LOUD (INSERT AN ADJECTIVE) BIG-HAIRED FLAT BREASTED RINOA BROKE UP, I'VE BEEN SEEING HER!"

"NO!" SEIFER JUMPED OUT FROM BEHIND QUISTIS.  "THIS MUST BE A QUEIFER JUST BECAUSE IT IS SO DARN FUN TO SAY"  HE THEN TOOK OF HIS CLOTHES UNTIL HE WAS WEARING NOTHING BUT A SPEEDO WITH GUNBLADES IN THE FRONT.

FROM OUT OF THE DARK FOREST THE POSSE APPEARED AND GRABBED HIM.

FUJIN: "LEAVE NOW"

RAJIN:  "WILL NOT LOWER ACTING ABILITY TO BE IN THIS FIC, YA KNOW."

THE DRAGGED HIM OF KICKING AND SINGING THE THEME TO LOVE BOAT.

SQUALL GASPED IN HORROR, "QUISTIS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME AND ONLY ME JUST BECAUSE, RINOA SUX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN LIKE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

ULTIMECIA LAUGHED THROUGH HER PORTHOLE OF TIME. "HEY, SORRY I AM OBLIGATED UNDER CONTRACT TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE IN ALL BAD FICS ALONG WITH THE LINE - KURSE ALL SEEDS" 

SQUALL TOOK A STEP AWAY FROM THE THREE CRAZED GIRLS, "GEE THIS IS TAKING AN UGLY TURN FOR THE WORSE, I BETTER DO SOMETHING SMART. WHATEVER. I KNOW I WILL NEEDLESS HACK SOMEBODY BECAUSE PRE-TEENS THINK IT IS FUNNY." SO HE DID, UNFORTUNATELY IT WAS JUST A MIRROR, '"DARN" HE SAID, "THAT WAS ONE GOOD-LOOKING DUDE"

"YES, I KNOW. NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE NEEDLESS SEX SCENE BETWEEN EVERYBODY AS WE PARTY OVER A DEAD BODY AND WORSHIP THE AUTHOR OF (INSERT FIC YOU HATE HERE) "

"YES, LETS DO THAT"

WAIT LAGUNA JUMPED OUT FROM BEHIND A BUSH, "SQUALL I'M YOUR FATHER - I KNOW YOU ALREADY KNOW, BUT I MUST SAY IT AGAIN FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT."

"THAT'S OK IM A CROSS-DRESSING FREAK WHO ACTUALLY DUMPED RINOA FOR: QUISTIS, SELPHIE, IRVINE, ZELL, SEIFER, CID, CHOCOBO BOY, RAJIN, FUJIN, CARD QUEEN OR LAGUNA! LAGUNA!!!! DEAR HYNE WHO WOULD WRITE THAT?

A sudden jolt knocked Squall out of horrible nightmare. Next to him was his angle, not the blonde tramp who was currently undergoing court-appointed therapy for stalking him. He quickly got out of bed and walked over to his PC; it was still on.

"Damn you fanfiction.net and your writers who have no idea what this game was actually about," he took his gunblade out of the case and started slashing the computer. Metal and plastic flew around the room, one hitting the still-sleeping form on the bed.

Rinoa sat up and looked at the mess before her, "Fanfiction again"

He nodded.

"Please Squall, how many times do I have to tell you just to turn the computer off."

"Oh..............." was all he could reply.

READ AND REVIEW AND NO FLAMES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND IF I DON'T GET ENOUGH REVIEWS I'M NOT GOING TO WRITE ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU DON'T DESERVE MY GREATNESS, IM A WRITER WHO MUST MAKE THREATS TO THE READERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
